We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize