Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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