You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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