No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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