you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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