about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize