im having a threesome with these popsicles
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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