Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
nutella sex= disaster
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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