Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
