Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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