is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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