Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
