What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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