ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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