who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize