Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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