i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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