I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
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I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
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Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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