I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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