This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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