doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
