My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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