New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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