What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
