I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
