fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
