If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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