I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
