and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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