So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
