That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize