dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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