put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
