bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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