Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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