im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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