Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
