The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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