Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
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no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize