I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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