just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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