rhymes with "ouble enetration"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I want her autograph on my taint
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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