It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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