A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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