He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
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I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
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im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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