Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
