and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
