Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
