I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
