we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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