Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
