So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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