i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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