I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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