He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
