Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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