great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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