On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
