the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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