That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
