So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
